Everyone loves a useful diagram. I am still trying to figure out where I am on the wheel, which probably means I am in disorganization. Let's see, I left my cell phone at home, locked myself out, lost my laundry key, forgot my bus pass, almost ate a slug in my salad because I forgot to wash my lettuce (I'm sure it was organic...ewe), told a stupid boy I like him...and that's just in the last week. I am way more together than this I swear. This is like my first week in Japan where I had an attack of clumsiness and somehow managed to embarrass myself at seven different schools. I broke the door of a shoe cubby (when you walk into most schools there are little metal or wooden cubbies where you put your outdoor shoes), I sat on chocolate and managed to stain my new Principal's leather couch, and those are just the things that I didn't block out...there are whole chunks of time missing from my memory and I know it's not alcohol related.
In the meantime I am having a better day than yesterday. No tears. I also had a nice chat with Sue's sister H. She's funny too. I can tell we're going to get along. H reminded me to think of what Sue would want me to do, which would probably be to make mojitos. It's what I'm good at, another one of my super powers like cutting shapes out of paper and navigating through Seattle. My mojitos are fabulous.
One of the last times I saw Sue was in San Diego at S's house. Was it somebody's b-day? S was having a big party and making these crazy meatballs with hot sauce and grape jelly. I was teasing her about how nasty that was. Her brother was visiting and there was music and food and in walked Sue, looking like she wasn't quite up for all the commotion. I, of course, was on a mission, cutting up limes and crushing mint and sugar into ice. We hugged and then she spent the next 20 minutes following me around the kitchen and telling me all about her practicum and meeting these amazing women doing peace work. She and S would take smoke breaks and then she'd come back in and I'd hand her another drink. H says she quit smoking this year.
It is so surreal. I never heard Sue sing. I saw her cry a few times, I knew her laugh, I'd know her voice anywhere, but I never heard her sing and that sucks so bad. One of the things that H said that really stuck with me is the idea of Sue being out there living her own life, touching the lives of all these people around the world that H hasn't even met. It made me feel a little better. I think about all the little things I know about Sue. I try to piece them back together into the image of this friend I had, but when I do it seems so incomplete, like there was so much more I should know about her and just don't. But maybe there is no way to know someone that completely, even if you're family...maybe it's just enough to know what you know and be content with the love exchanged. Still missing you. And really I should be working.
2 comments:
perfect.
-heidi
I got to hear Sue sing. Back when she was in Garmisch we co-purchased a guitar. She had an amazing voice.
Post a Comment