The Labyrinth

Call it a post-Vegas hang over, a back-to-work funk, whatever it is I have been cranky and out of sort since coming back...which is funny because I was actually kind of relieved to come back. There are only so many shows and so much ringing one can stand. But regardless I have been kind off balance and the one thing that seems to ground me and put me back on track recently is going to the Center for Spiritual Living...so me and Shoshana and surprisingly Mz Blu went, but I still didn't feel right.

Sunday was one of those days I just wanted to go home and be a troll, but I had promised Taus, my favorite tae kwon do ninja, that I would accompany her to a full moon meditation and blessing for leos. She said there would be a labyrinth. Well, I grew up in the 80s so I immediately pictured a mansion with a huge hedge maze...something David Bowie would feel comfortable riding a unicorn through. I was a bit disappointed at first when we rolled up to this lady's house where there was no possibility of anything so grandiose. The second thing I noticed is that Taus and I were the youngest women at the gathering by a decade or two (easily more than that). It was like coffee hour after the 8:00am service at the Episcopal church, lots of chatty old white people. My irritation increased as I had to answer for the fifth time "No I don't work at the Hospital, I'm a teacher," and so on and so on. Chit chat can be so tedious at times.

But as we worked our way to the back yard, I took a deep breath and tried to ease away from my negativity. The yard was fenced in and on the left side was the labyrinth, a circular growth or low furrowed plants that made a path switching back and forth around hairpin turns to the center which was filled with stones, shells, and trinkets. It wasn't what I had pictured, but it was nice and as we sat down in a circle I automatically began to center. One of the women had brought some singing bowls that were wrapped in yellow carrying cases like tiny jimbes. The singing bowls look kind of like the tops of cake plates only they have long handles and you hold them so the open side is up. They are played with a stick, but not like a drum or a gong, you simply roll the stick around the edge and it begins to resonate, not unlike a tuning fork. The lady had brought 3 different bowls and they each played a different tune. It was very soothing.

I found myself kind of fascinated by the coven of older women. I say coven, but they weren't witches or anything, just very unconventional in their spiritual believes. The discussion revolved around meditation and astrology and lots of stuff I am mostly topics I think of as new age. The singing bowls were so neat. The lady who brought them explained that singing bowls come from the Buddhist tradition. They are usually made out of some kind of special alloy, until not too long ago when someone figured out that crystal could re-produce the same sounds and that as a living organism the sound from this particular kind of bowl could evolve. She showed us the inside of one bowl and described how at some point when the crystal was still growing and forming, it had broken, but that it had healed itself. On the bottom there was beautiful strange pattern of discoloration that marked the scars. She says that one patch of regrowth is what causes that particular bowl to have such a warm tone. It struck me as poignant, the idea that scar tissue could make you stronger and richer.



We settled down to the task at hand...the labyrinth. Another lady began to talk about the tradition of labyrinth and I realized that it reminded me very much of how CSL teaches prayer.

There are three steps we've been working on for spiritual treatments: Recognition, Unification, Realization, Thanksgiving, and Release. In the first stage you recognize God, then you acknowledge that you are one with God, a part of the whole universe, then the realization is that thing you are praying for, be it good health or joy or whatever is already your reality, so then you say thanks and send that out into the universe. It's a very different way to pray after years of getting on my knees and begging forgiveness for my sins and asking permission to be blessed. This isn't a negotiation. I don't feel like I have to cheapen myself by playing let's make a deal.."I'll be a better person if you just heal my Grandma, please God". It's more like..."There is a God, I am a part of that God, as a part of God there is no joy that is denied me....I know my grandma is healthy whole and healed, this is my word and the word of God. That's Great and so I am very thankful for this truth. I
release it into the universe knowing that all is well." That's a a very simplified way to put it, but you get the idea.

Well, with labyrinth, the idea is that the center is love. As you make your way towards it you hold a trinket in your hand and say your prayer, then you release it into the love (the universe) and go out the same way you came in, all the while giving thanks. I picked a beautiful blue stone that looked like a jelly bean. One of the ladies blessed me with rose oil and some of the other ladies played the singing bowls. I was the first into the labyrinth and as I walked the narrow path between the green under bush, slowly and with a lit candle in one hand and my stone in the other, I thought a prayer for grace. I realize that lately I have been pretty crappy at embracing change...even the good changes...and there have been many, mostly good changes as of late. So I left my fear, my defensiveness, and my anger with a candle and my stone in the center of the labyrinth. And as I came out, I felt so much lighter, and so much more human. We sat in silence, the soft grass beneath our feet, the lightening foreboding but distant in the sky and held a space for hope, joy and community.

Afterwards there was a lovely potluck and an indoor meditation the preceded the blessing of the leos. There were quite a few of us and at the end everyone sang Happy B-Day. It was a beautiful present despite my original reluctance to see it as such. Thanks for putting up with my stank attitude Taus. Much love.