In general, I like to know who my neighbors are. I don't need to know their whole life story or anything, but I like to be able to identify them by name and say hello in passing. We don't have to be friends. In fact I prefer not to be friends, as long as we're cool and we can do each other little neighborly favors like signing for packages or lending each other quarters for doing laundry. It doesn't have to be all deep and meaningful. I would even be up for the occassional neighbor party where we chit chat and have a few drinks, but that's about it. I mean we already live next to each other...that's close enough right?
Well in the last few months some of my favorite neighbors have moved away, mostly to live in houses. Now my most normal and least invasive neighbors are the ultimate fighter downstairs, with his collection of samurai swords and manga, the guy I don't see often who looks like an ex frat boy and his ex sorority girl lady friend,and the woman who passed me on the stairs last week with the comment "I didn't recognize you with your hair done". She is also the one who had my Dad's car towed when he was visiting.
My other neighbors are a little quirky and way too in my space as of late. There are the two brothers from Mexico. I actually like them a lot, but the younger one has developed a new habit. Though he takes English classes and he has been living here for years, sometimes the shorthand from text messages confuses him, so he stops by to have me translate things for him. This wouldn't be so awkward except that most of the texts he's receiving are from his special lady friends. I have learned more about this neighbor through those text messages than I ever needed to. He also likes to tell me the back story behind these "relationships". The last one was a stripper from Alabama.
My neighbor to the left is a nice enough guy, though everytime I see him (and we've lived next door to each other for at least a year now) he has this peculiar habit of asking me if I can hear him or if he's keeping me up at night. I can't hear anything. I sleep well. The first two times he asked, I didn't think too much of it, but after a while I kind of began to wonder if he was autistic. Then I began to wonder what the hell he is doing in his apartment that he thinks is that loud and doesn't want me to hear? Then I stopped wondering because really there is only so much you need to know about your neighbors. Also one day I was at taekwondo and I noticed him outside watching me. From then on he changed his question, so now everytime I see him, he asks me something taekwondo related. Mz. Blu, who has been a very frequent house guest since December says he is just a little socially retarded and that this is his way to make conversation and be friendly.He loves her.
I have to work really early and I am out and about a lot during the weekdays, but when Mz. Blu is there she occassionally runs into my neighbors and has apparently been very friendly to my neighbor, so much so that he invited us to "hang out" at his place. She doesn't seem to find this a little creepy, but the way he said it made me know that I have 0 interest in ever doing that. Also anytime I see him and I am not accompanied by Mz. Blu, he asks about her and tells me I should just let her move in. Thanks for the advice buddy.
Of all my neighbors though, the one on the right takes the cake for weirdness. He is always home and he smokes, so he is always loitering outside his door being nosey. I don't like people monitoring my comings and goings. He is the neighbor who in the last two months has hosted my top three least welcome visitors: The police, the mormons, and some really irritating asshole who I guess was owed some money by my neighbor and stood outside his door banging and calling him on his cell phone, while occassionally interrogating any passers by.
The police have come by twice...and I don't mean just 2 officers. I looked out there one day and there were 4 cop cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck. I was just waiting for the camera crew from COPs to show up. I mean there were at least twenty people in uniform. You would have though they were busting a covert drug ring or something. From what we can guess, my neighbor is manic depressive and had some medical mishap that called his mom to call the police on him. This doesn't make that much sense to me, but it makes me feel better to know he's not in there cooking meth. Then the other day around 11pm I was hanging out with Shoshana and I heard this knocking on my door. I hadn't been expecting anyone and it was a weeknight, so I didn't even think to open the door. I just opened the window and there he was in his old high school letterman jacket (dude is in his 30s...this is some weird Al Bundy shit) red faced, and drunk. He was slurring his words as he explained bashfully that he had some rum and he was just wondering if we wanted to come over and drink with him. NO. Really no.
Meanwhile at my church I am learning about how I am God and everyone is God and has God in them, but then I look at my neighbor and my first thought is I don't care if this person is God, I don't want to hang out with him. I don't want him knocking on my door late at night. I'm not going to church with the mormoms...which I'm guessing is where he went this Sunday all dressed up (which means next week he'll be out doorknocking too). How do I reconcile these ideas? How can I love my neighbors and really not want to spend anytime with them and honor the God in them while maintaining my privacy and safety?
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