Lately I have been obsessed with Day of the Dead. November, just after Thanksgiving, marks the 8th anniversary of the death of one of my best friends. She was a month shy of 21 when she passed away in a car crash while driving back to school after the holidays. I was living in Spain and that time, but I remember hearing the news and just falling apart. I was lucky enough to make it back in time for the funeral, but it was miserable. A few weeks ago while visiting Wisconsin, I stopped by her grave. Over the years the monument to her has grown from a small patch of grass in a cemetery near where we went to high school, to a large engraved headstone with two color photos of her. There are always flowers no matter what season and it shows that I am not her only visitor. She was a beautiful person, and even all these years later, something inside breaks to think about her...but the alternative is worse.
What happens when you die? I don't know if heaven or hell exist outside of our day to day worlds. I like to think that spirits are energy and as such are neither created or destroyed, but simple transformed into whatever form they need to take on in order to move on. When I think of the people I've lost: Robin, Sue, Bobbie Jo, Papa, Papi Howl, Non, Papa Thorp, Martha, and so many others, I give thanks that at least they live on in my head. I can still remember the sound of Robin's voice, Sue's laugh...
So this year, for my first year as a Spanish teacher, I decided to celebrate Day of the Dead with my kids. I was worried about how it might go, especially knowing that some of them had recently lost grandparents. What I discovered is that the kids, like me, want to remember. Even though most of my students are only in the fourth or fifth grade, they have quite a bit of experience with death, mostly in the form of Hamsters (one of my kids has had 17 Hamsters pass away under his care....please don't buy him anymore!)and grandparents. They all have their ritual though. Some like to bury pets in the yard, others like to celebrate by having a special dinner or just lighting a candle.
Together we visited an ofrenda at a nearby school and watched a short movie about Dia de los Muertos which is celebrated on November 1 and 2 each year, when the veil between the living and dead realms is said to be more fluid. Families visit the graveyard, setting up alters with ofrendas...or offerings. It's a Mexican holiday greatly influenced by Aztec and also Catholic traditons. Alters often have four levels, representing the four seasons, the four directions, the four stages of life, and the four elements.The alters are decorated in bright colors with papel picado (tissue paper cut in beautiful patterns), pictures of the deceased and things they liked to do or foods they enjoyed. Marigold are said to light the way for the spirits. Some people make sugar skulls or pan de muerto (bread of the dead- a sweet egg bread made with anise). The whole point is to spend time with your family and friends, both living and dead.
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