2 Weird Dreams

Two nights ago, I dreamt my cousin Nicky was opening a restaurant. I went to the opening to be supportive. I hugged her and she was just beaming. It was a small cafe, kind of dark, with really dark blue walls and tables set with white candles. At some point I went somewhere else. I was preparing for a poetry slam and Nicky said she'd be having a slam at her place so I went back, but there was barely anyone there and it was more of an open mike. I decided I still wanted to read, but just one poem so I was looking through my stuff and finding a place to sit. Then Nicky's boyfriend came in. He was this big, dumpy looking, light skinned brother and he was a total asshole. I mean just rude and abusive. He was mean, not just to her, but to her customers. He became dangerous. He went into the kitchen and took a pair of scissors and cut some woman's pinky finger off.....all the way off, with just regular scissors. It was terrifying and people were crying and freaking out, but no one made any moves to go anywhere or to call the police. I wasn't scared though. Actually I was pissed. I watched him moving through the room enjoying people's fear of him. His eyes settled on me, and I was shaking my head.

I said: " I don't why these other people let you do this to them, but you're not gonna do that to me. And I'm gonna tell you why. It's called self respect. I don't know what's wrong with them, but I have way too much self respect not to defend myself, so if you're gonna come for me, you better come hard, because I will not tolerate you threatening me. "

He just grinned at me and pointed at me with the scissors. For some reason I had a big umbrella in my hand and I raised it to keep him at arms distance. Then he rushed me and even though he was way bigger than me, I grabbed the scissors and began wrestling them from his hands all the while yelling at him. Suddenly he shrank and turned into a little boy of about 4 or 5 years of age. He was still gripping the scissors and it took some force to get them from him, but I did and then I held his two hands together in one of my mine and tilted his chin up so he was looking me in the eye.

"What is wrong with you," I demanded? "You don't get to do that. You can't do that. It's wrong and you know it."

And he just started to cry and I was like "Let it out baby. Let it all out. You have a choice. You don't have to be that person." Then I woke up.

Last night I dreamt I was in a big white tower at the top of a hotel and it was shaking like there was an earthquake, but just the top part, the rest was fine, and the doors got caved in and we were trapped up there, but then I somehow found a way down. I was late for some kind of meeting. Then there was this crazy white lady. She and I knew each other and I guess we had been deciding if we were going to have children or not and she decided she wasn't going to and I had decided I was. She handed me a drink with what looked like a purple lotus and a tampon wrapped floating in it. The tampon wrapper was actually a pill and I knew she was trying to poison me so I didn't have the baby, so I wouldn't drink any of it and she freaked out and started yelling at me. I stood my ground and told her she was crazy and that I had a right to do what I wanted. Then I woke up.

I have no idea what any of that means. Shoshana says being in a restaurant is a sign of being overwhelmed by choices and that scissors have something to do with make decisions. If anyone has any other ideas, I'm curious to know what you think.