Does a fish need a bicycle?

There is this line from a U2 song...also a popular sentiment within the mainstream "so-called feminist" propaganda..."A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle." For the longest time that's how I felt. When I think about my needs, I think about getting a job that doesn't make me crazy. I need some sanity. I need a roof over my head, frequent trips to a massage therapist, outlets for spiritual and creative expression, and a new rain coat. I need time to reflect. I need an income that covers my expenses from practical to frivolous. But, do I need a man? It'd be nice, I'd like a man, but I don't know that I need one.

In a recent conversation with one of my close guy friends...also one of the few people I know who is truly in touch with his emotions and ridiculously articulate about it...he opened me up to the idea that men want to feel needed. One of the criticisms I got from my ex is that I was so self sufficient (while he on the other hand was so self absorbed). He looked over at me one day and he was like "you're just sitting there reading your book and chillin out, it's like I'm not even here." I turned toward him to give him some attention, but in my head I was thinking, why do I need to entertain you? In retrospect, I realize it was one of his many inarticulate ways of asking me if I needed him. Again, I don't know that need is the right word. I wanted to be with him. I enjoyed being in a relationship, but needing someone is a whole separate animal. I like the independence that comes with solitude. I like knowing that I am the only person I need in order to live my life. But I also like dating and being involved with men, so what is the balance? Do I have to pretend I need some guy for him to feel secure enough to be with me? That sounds like a lot of work.Or is the key that maybe it's enough for a fish to want something as unwieldy and complex as a bicycle?

So then I turn the question back on myself, do I need to feel needed? Not particularly. Whenever I get in a relationship, be it romantic, or just a friendship and I feel like that person is starting to become co-dependent, it kind of freaks me out. I mean, it's one thing to share a close bond with someone and to lean on them from time to time, but another entirely to feel like you need them...either to comfort you when you are sad or validate your choices or whatever. Do I need my friends? Yes, but not all of my needs are focused on one friend at any given time. It's less about needing a specific person and more about needing to feel supported from time to time and having people in my life who love me to manifest that support.

I keep thinking about the idea of marriage as being some sort of completion, but can two halves ever really make a whole? Don't you have to be whole first in order to not lose yourself in the other person? More questions I don't really have the answer to....but food for thought.