Words in my mind

What is the power of my word? If you don't read this will I still write it? If I don't post it, will you still feel it? It was said that the entire Universe was called into being by one word, the word of God made manifest in a bang. If no one heard it, was there still a sound, and what was that first sound like with nothing to compare it to? What would anyone's life be like with nothing to compare it to, no sense of good or bad, right or wrong?

Last night I started a class called The Power of Your Word and it has left me thinking about words...the words I choose to say and the words I never say. I woke up in the middle of the night filled to bursting with words I wanted to say. So much and yet, even in the privacy of my own home I felt censored by my own judgement. I want to say what I mean. I want to mean what I say, but sometimes what I have to say isn't pleasant. It isn't clean and tidy. It isn't easy. Should I still say it?

We talked about affirmations, mantras, using words to sow thoughts into our consciousness like planting seeds of what we will want to say later. There were some beautiful words, deliciously juicy and powerful in their sequence, but as I lay there in the middle of the night, those were not the words that came to me. As I listened to my own mind run and ramble, my inner words betrayed my fears, my sadness, my shadows. Are these unspoken words as powerful as the joy I choose to speak? Sometimes I feel like they are, like even if I only say the "good" things, it won't erase the inside words.

So how do you change your word? Your world is an out picture of what you think, but how do you change your thoughts. Are mantras enough? Memory created through repetition? I'm searching for the magic words.