I love summer and find myself grieving its loss. Its not that I don't like fall. The air is crisp, the leaves change, and I sleep like a rock. But there is nothing like summer, the heat, the beach, the time to just chill with friends or have adventures. I've been living on a school calendar since I can remember, and even when I'm not a student, I'm a teacher, and with the death of summer is the birth of a new year. New possibilities. New chances to get everything just right.
Yesterday we had our all school potluck. My coworkers, students, and their families all gathered around on the back lawn, loading our plates from the U shaped cluster of plastic tables heavy laden with every kind of noodle, salad, and chicken in existence. There was no singing or dancing, just a lot of chatter and kids zipping around and swinging from the trees they know they aren't supposed to climb.
It's a new beginning, and yet, it doesn't feel very new at all. I feel like I've lived this dejavou on loop. There is a part of me that is comfortable and even excited to see my kids again and yet another part of me that is striving to wake up. What if this weren't my life? What if I just packed up one day and got on a boat to Bali? I could do it you know....just go. I think I'm just missing summer. It hurts to let this one go. Linear time is evil.
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