A year without Sue

Last Monday marked the end of our first year without Sue VanSchoonhoven. As with all anniversaries, it gave me the opportunity to reflect on all that has happened since our trip to Cove to say goodbye. We have a new president, I live in a new home, I'm settled in my new job, life has gone on. Shoshana moved to DC, so this time there was no one around who knew Sue the way we did to share in the short walk to the lake where we said our goodbyes to the water the way we did before. It was a lonely day, despite being surrounded by children and people laughing and smiling and living their lives. More than sad though, I was surprised to feel angry still a the unfairness of it all. Sue was so young. She was only 6 years older than me...and though I am not a fortune teller I know that it will take much more than 6 more years to do everything I was put on this earth to do...and too I feel that had Sue lived there would have been so much more. She was such an amazing person, the ripples of who she was and how she chose to live still echo in our hearts and in the lives of her friends and family.

I spent the weekend with my mom and grandma. My grandma has aged considerably since the last time I saw her just 2 months ago, though it doesn't show so in her face or in new wrinkles the way all those Loreal commercials selling anti-age cream would suggest, but rather in the fact that she is literally falling apart. Her kidneys, her heart, her hip...none of them are doing what they are supposed to do and what they have done previously everyday of her 82 years. It's somewhat terrfifying to think that one day your body will just betray you that way, that it won't always do what you tell it to. It is in talking to her that I realize there is no good time to die. We get what we get and our job is to simply do the best we can with it. If nothing else, I can say this much for Sue. She lived well, she loved well, and she is still well loved...