Last weekend my Dad and I were watching that new CNN Black in America series and there was this segment where they basically talk about where all the black men are. I've heard it all before: 1/3 are in jail, then there are those who are gay or on the downlow, then there are those who die before 20, and then there are those who are committed to only dating white women, which leaves like 2 eligible bachelors and a million fabulously gorgeous and smart black women to compete with. And so the story goes. According to my church, which is admittedly a bit "woo woo", there is abundance in the universe and you can get what you want and I want to date black men...lots of them, fabulously gorgeous, tall, well traveled and educated black men. But apparently the universe doesn't include Seattle for whatever reason, because something is blocking me from my abundance.
Had dinner with Mz Blu and her boy toy dujour. He is a Seattle native and as such knows lots of people in the community, so we enlisted in him in my endeavour to get a list of dateable characters. By the time we went through his list, HE got all pouty and depressed and apologized to me on behalf of the city because he said I just wasn't going to find what I need. This put me in a really shitty mood. One of my biggest pet peeves is people telling me No. It just makes me want to wheel kick said person in the head...but this is not helpful. Meanwhile as September nears, I will be at the one year anniversary of my break up with the big round headed loser, which means that even with the dating half life rule (it takes 2 days to every 1 day you were with that person to get over them), I should thoroughly be over it by now.
So now what? Though I know Internet dating is all the rage, especially in this passive aggressive computer nerd filled community, I am just not that into it. You can't really read people over the computer. I want to see facial expressions. The other suggestion that has been made to me is that I exercise my options and date outside my race. Well FYI, I've done that with mixed results, and continue to do that. My only firm stipulation has been no more white guys, but I date across the brown through black spectrum from Shrilankan to Senegalese. So why no white guys? After a while I just got tired of having to explain basic things like prejudice and have them not understand...and then I also had several "guess who's coming to dinner moments" and that gets old very quickly.
So here's what's new. I made The List of what I want. It's 5 pages long, typed and single spaced...3 with revisions, so I won't print the whole thing here, but I am going to paraphrase. My major lesson for this summer has been you have to say what it is that you want. So here is what I am asking the universe for and if you see him, let me know.
I want a good brown to black man who is tall, thick, and hot like fire, preferable resembling the Rock. Someone who is really smart, believes in God, likes to (and can!)dance, likes to clean, is a good communicator in good health, with good hygiene and treats me like the goddess I am. He must be the truth, single, with no kids, but ready, able and willing to love me and be a good feminist partner, lover, husband, and father to my 1-2 kids (that we will have after a year engagement and a nice wedding on the beach in Bali). He should be well read, easy to chill with, funny, interesting, and good at ironing. Telling good stories, giving good massages, and singing to me would be a plus. I'm also partial to men who are independent, financially savvy and have something to teach me, but are also willing to learn from me. He has a good relationship with his family, a good work ethic, his own friends and ambitions and is an amazing lover. There's more, but that's the gist of it. Oh, and must be willing to travel and adventure with me. Holla.
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