A step forward

Today I got the news that my proposal to do a faculty training for those leading study abroad programs has been accepted! This means that my colleauge TS and I will attend a global leadership seminar this spring during which time we will have the opportunity to develop the training...and hopefully it will be implemented this upcoming academic year. After almost 2 years here, I know better than to expect things to more quickly, but I can't help but feel a surge of optimism.

This comes after having a crappy work day. This year, after watching The Secret (thanks S-Dawg), I have been working on attracting a better work situation. I spent most of last year mired in negativity, loathing the rediculous aspects of my program, which I will not get into now. For the most part, this year has been much better for me, not because the institution has changed, but rather because I have learned to let go. I have also tried to spend less time at work, and talk less about the negative aspects and surprisingly this seems to be working. Colleauges I had issues with previously have been easy to work with. Issues that were problematic last year are suddenly resolved, but today I let myself get sucked into the crap. I got into it with my boss about some vital changes that need to be made to my program. I feel like our organization, while avidly espousing their desire to support my program, is actively unsupportive of anything that might make my program stonger or more viable. It really pisses me off. I want to quit my job. I have wanted to quit my job since I got it, but I also know that I need to be realistic about this economy.

My ideal job would be working on a grassroots social justice based study abroad program for high school kids of color. I would love to take black students from the US around the world and connect them with black communities in countries like Brazil, Ghana, Belize, Peru, or anywhere really (we are everywhere :) ). I want black kids to have the opportunity to think outside the box in terms of their identity. One of the most powerful learning experiences I had while growing up, was when my mom took me to Senegal. I was 16 years old and I had never been off the continent. I grew up in predominantly white areas, so going to Africa was huge. Just being in a country where I wasn't a visible minority was amazing, but it was also very difficult. I didn't speak French or Oulof and though I learned to pass for Senegalese (as long as I didn't have to speak), I had never felt so American before. It was the first time I ever really began to think about what it means, not just to be black, but to be an American in a global text. This is an experience I want to provide and to help facilitate.....but I'm not quite ready to start my own program yet. I still have so much to learn.

Getting my proposal passed actually gives me a reason to want to stay for a while. This is not only an amazing opportunity for professional development, but it's a chance to do something cutting edge in my field. It seems simple, but no one else in the country is doing it. Everyone is so busy trying to recruit "underrepresented" students to their program, that they haven't stopped to think about what that will mean or even if these programs are equipped to provide a proper experience for these students. The answer I keep hearing from the students themselves is that they aren't. Something is missing. These students aren't getting what they need. And while I can't solve every problem, I can do this one simple thing...talk to the faculty taking these trips, give them some insight into what it's going to be like for their students, help them with strategies to become better facilitators. It's not much, but it is a step forward.