Advanced Citizenship

Advanced Citizenship

 

Sometimes I think

I didn’t sign up for this

I didn’t choose to be born

Of this place

Of this time

Of this family from this country

In this world that seems

       so vast and confusing

              And so limited and infinitely finite

But here I am

And who I am

Albeit reluctantly

Is a citizen of a world,

This world.

Where borders, colors, and languages

tell us who we are supposed to be

Where one mans freedom flag, is another’s flag of tyranny

Where my own liberty is contingent upon the way others choose to see me

As 3/5 human, as property, slave, whore or president

Its an interconnectedness I sometimes resent

That who I am must be placed in this subjective context

For others to qualify and quantify

The validity of my existence

But don’t I do the same?

Isn’t it just a part of the human condition?

To seek, to find, to claim my tribe?

To draw the circle around myself?

As much to keep me in as to keep you out?

But if I am truly a citizen of something beyond my country, then what would be my flag?

What would be my anthem?

Would my tribe be a reflection of the united nations?

Would I finally be able to embrace them?

Those strangers who would be my family

Those enemies who would stand with love for me?

I am not sure if I am ready for such advanced citizenship.

When all that glitters isn't gold...

The science of the mind is deceptively simple. Here's how it works: everything you think, every thought has the power to manifest itself in your life. But not each thought carries the same weight. For example, I often think about winning the lottery, but that thought hasn't quite come to fruition. Why? Because you must take your thought and breathe life into it through emotions. In short you must really believe in something to make it appear. Click your heels three times and all that.

Sounds fun right? Are you thinking of something wonderful? Are you thinking of a tuna melt on sour dough, or a moonlit evening on the beach? Can you feel the sand squishing between your toes? The soft wind caressing your skin? Or are you thinking of that driver who cut you off in traffic? Are you thinking about punching your boss in the face? The science of the mind is law, like electricity. You can take a lamp and plug it in and the electricity will cause it to illuminate, or you can take a knife and plug it in and become electrocuted. Either way, the electricity will work in the exact same way. Which is how I have become careful about what I think.

I have spent the last few years trying to think my way into a greater expansion of life, through prayer, meditation, vision boards, treasure maps, and anything else I can think of. And in retrospect, I haven't done to badly. I manifested the money for my great vision quest, then came back and landed the job with the exact salary stated on my vision board (double my last salary). And then a car came to me, seemingly out of nowhere. And so on, but once things go from the thought to reality, they are not always exactly as I pictured them. Which makes me wonder what other thoughts am I having that are playing out in such destructive ways?

I'm reminded of that scene in Ghost Busters where they finally figure out the legend of the curse and realize that all they have to do is clear their minds and nothing will manifest, but of course one of them has an errant thought and suddenly they are besieged by a 50 foot tall StayPuff Marshmallow Man terrorizing New York. That's the state I'm in. Mostly good except these few errant thoughts producing the monsters that made me string up the double dream catchers just to sleep through the night.

So what happens when all that glitters isn't gold. When the things I draw to me...things I've prayed and worked so hard for, aren't as fulfilling or rewarding as I thought they would be? How can I learn to trust myself to think the right way?