Friday was my first teacher's in-service day. I used to love in-service days when I was a kid because it meant there was no school...well now I am a teacher, and there actually is school. Such is my life. If it's true that what you resist you become, then my entire career is the fruit of karmic retribution. I loved school, until about the third grade, then I was just over it. Despite going to college and even eventually (under duress) graduate school, I would still put going to school on par with cleaning the bathroom...a necessary evil, but nowhere near as fun as sex, liquor, and salsa dancing and certainly not something I want to get stuck doing for the rest of my life.
I digress. Now, I am a teacher. When people ask me what I do for a living that is the answer I give (the whole writing and art thing are central to how I think about myself, but lets face it, teaching is the money making thing I do). I spend a great deal of time lesson planning or actually being in the classroom, and yet sometimes I have to admit, this all feels like some big practical joke. I mean it at least made some kind of sense when I was an English teacher. I know English. And when you are in countries where English isn't the #1 language, even if you didn't graduate high school, you can still claim some kind of expertise by being a native speaker.
I do speak Spanish. My Spanish is much better than my Japanese. I communicate and people understand me. I can even tell jokes. It's true, I did spend close to 10 years studying Spanish, including one and half years spent living in Spain and Chile respectively. But when I was learning how to order a mojito and the most colorful way to tell someone to go fuck themselves, I wasn't really thinking about how I would teach these particularly important phrases to others....which is actually good, because I can't really teach any of that to my fourth and fifth graders. Sometimes I feel like a big phony. I'm doing my best, but there is so much I don't know. I still mess up the gender of things. I mean why is table feminine and pencil masculine? It all seems kind of arbitrary.
And then there is the whole Spanish teacher thing. All the Spanish teacher I had were really kind of strange people. There was the one that called herself "La Bruja" (the witch) and screamed "Ingles es kaka" every time she caught us using English. I had Spanish teachers who made us wear costumes or squirted us with water bottles. I always kind of thought that you had to be kind of crazy to be a Spanish teacher, or at least very dramatic (melodramatic).
This weekend the other Spanish teacher at my school (we'll call her Sra. C because she comes from Colombia-el pais, no la universidad) and I attended the WAFLT/ COFLT conference in Vancouver, Wa. WAFLT stands for Washington Association of Foreign Language Teachers. COFLT is the Oregon acronymn. Sra. C and I spent a lovely 5 hours on the train getting to know each other....no sarcasm implied. Yes, the train ride was freakishly long, but she is just super cool. I am so glad we got to kick it. Once there, we spent 2 days in session after session all about how to teach a language.
Stupid joke repeated throughout the conference: What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages : Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? trilingual. What do call someone who speaks one language? American.
When I survived my demo lesson and my all Spanish interview last year and actually got this job, I thought "Hey, maybe I can do this after all." I mean I still had some insecurities, but then I got into the classroom and realized that while I might not be the Goddess of Spanish, I certainly know more than a fourth grader. Moreover I remembered how much I like teaching....being at school is way more fun when you're not the student.
At the conference I learned a lot. I have a whole list of new activities, dances, songs, and games I want to try out. In that sense it was great. I also got to meet a lot of other teachers.
Top 5 things Spanish teachers like:
Speaking in Spanish (even when they speak with Oregon accents)
colorful scarves
coffee
making their students do embarrassing dances
sombreros
Many of the teachers I met have been teaching longer than I've been alive (literally). While it was cool to pick their brains, it was also totally intimidating. Also, the majority of the seminars were all in Spanish. There was one put on by two amazing ladies from the UW all about dichos (expressions) in Castillano...the Spanish of Spain, vs. the Spanish of Mexico. This was really interesting, but out of the 20 or so examples the put up, I only knew two. How is that possible? I still have so much to learn. If this is really what I'm going to do as a job, I know it is my responsibility to get more information, but God knows I really don't want to go back to school. :(
My temporary solution is Mexico. Yup, I am applying for a grant and headed to Mexico this summer for an advanced course in Spanish and Spanish teaching pedagogy. If I have to go to school, at least it should be somewhere hot.
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